He Needs All New Underwear...

Oh shoot. Hang on.

Ok he's gone. Well he's still here, but he is distracted by the TV now and no longer peeking at my laptop. I'm sure he will appreciate me posting this on the internet.

This weekend my husband, Mr. S, informed me that he is going to get rid of all of his boxers. He wants to switch to boxer briefs.

Mr. S: I'm going to get rid of all of my boxers and get boxer briefs.
Me: Why? For comfort? Or fashion? Or are you trying to lower your sperm count?
Mr. S: I don't know. I just want to. Like four of my boxers have holes in them. (He has a drawer packed full of boxers)
Me: *Trying not to laugh* Well buy boxer briefs, but don't get rid of your boxers yet. I don't want you to go buy all new boxers next weekend because you don't like boxer briefs.

New Hobby: Crocheting

Does this make me an old lady? Don't worry. You can be honest.

I recently learned some very very basic crocheting.

That being said, I'm ready for a challenge. I want to do THIS. The arcade stitch baby blanket.

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Yesterday I went to Joann Fabrics and picked up some yarn and a book with more hooks, because the one hook that I have is the wrong size for the yarn I picked out, and a book.

I'm planning on making this baby blanket for my friend who is due the beginning of next year.

Wish me luck!

Any crocheter out there? Anyone have a favorite baby blanket pattern?

Anti "Baby Bucket List"

Hmmm.... I came across this blog post today: "Baby Bucket List" by Kristen @ Just Thinking

I never thought of having a baby bucket list, or as I call it a cradle list, being synonymous to having a baby equals death. Did you?

I guess I should clarify things a bit. I'm not saying my life will be over when I finally get pregnant. I am very much looking forward to having children. I want to wait to make sure I will be the best parent possible to them. Of course I would like to have a baby now, but it would be so selfish to bring someone into this world that I couldn't properly care for.

The travel topic. I have some traveling on my cradle list, but don't mistake this as things that I will never do again once I have children. I was actually going to write a post about all of the fun family vacations I want to go on one we have a family. Should I just put it in here now? Na, I'll put it in it's own post when I have more time to make a more quality post. All this to say, the traveling on my cradle list are things that wouldn't be as suited to children. Personally, I don't want my children to see all of the mostly naked go-go dancers and drunk people in Las Vegas. But that's just me. I would love to bring my kds somewhere tropical, but I have Bahamas or Mexico on my cradle list because I want to go there in the next 5 years, which will be pre TTC date for me. Plus, I want it to be relaxing and romantic. But it's definitely a trip I would go on again once the kids are older.

Anyways. I feel like my cradle list is a list to keep me grounded. It is a list to remind me to get my shit together before I get knocked up. It is a list to remind me to enjoy this childless time instead of just sitting around being bitter and jealous. It is a list that says hey if you're going to wait to have kids you might as well do these fun things that will be more difficult once you have kids.

Kind of a side note... I recently joined the nest, and by recently I mean yesterday. IDK if I will be using that much or not though. So on the nest there is this article, 8 Things You Can't Do Once You Have a Baby. The comments shocked me. They were mostly like why is the nest so down on having kids, blah, blah, blah, having kids isn't horrible. I didn't see those things in the article though. I thought it was a nice article to remind people to enjoy the time before you have kids because a baby changes your life in more ways than imaginable. I feel like pretty much everything was true except for the staying up late and watching late night shows when they air.

But that's just my two cents. What do you think about the baby bucket list thing?

The Baby Bug

Lately I feel like I've been bitten by the baby bug. I'm sure it is just because one of my friends is newly pregnant, my sister in law just had a second baby, and my best friend has two little ones. It makes me want one, which is so weird because I've never felt this way before. I went so many years not wanting any kids ever.

But then I get my head on straight and remember all of the things I have to (and want to) do first. I want to enjoy my twenties with my hubs carefree no responsibility style. I want to pay off my student loans and car. I want to bulk up my savings. I can't have have a baby now!

Anyone else with a plan to have kids in the future wanting to do it now?

Pool Party!!!

This past weekend my hubs and I had a small pool* party. It was so much fun. Mild temperatures. Sexy bikini. Sunny, barely a cloud in the sky. Yummy snacks. Friends. Alcohol. Perfect! Except for the hour I spent praying to the porcelain gods if you know what I mean. I drank way too much! Not to mention the mysterious cut hubs discovered his temple later that day. Oh well, it was a good time. All things I probably won't be doing often when I have kids.

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This Google image photo will have to due. Not one picture was snapped during the pool party. Always a wise move when alcohol is involved. I wish I would've taken a picture of the blowup loungers, half empty glass, and bottles scattered all of the deck before I cleaned them up.

Next summer I want to have a really big pool party with everyone I know. I want to go all out with a tropical/tiki/luau theme. I think it's fun to be in the pool when the sun is on it. Hubs wants to have a night time party with tons of tiki torches and pool lights, but all I can think about are the misqitoes! Either would be fun. We'll see if it happens :)


Oh and for the record, I'm sure summer and pool parties with children can be fun too.

*It's an above ground pool that came with the house. I'm not made of money people!

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This Would Be a Really Cool Birth Announcement!

I love it.


It would have been worth waiting to find out details about my new niece if they had been delivered in such a beautiful way :)

Ok. Maybe I'm not totally over the twitter thing...

According to Twitter, I Have a Niece

Have you ever gotten that call from somebody who’s just had a baby? You know the one where you all you say is “Hello?” and they say, “It’s a girl! *insert full girl name* She was born today August 17, 2011 at 3:47 AM! She’s 7lbs 8oz and is 21 inches long! She barely has any hair, but it’s so cute. She looks just like my dad. Come meet her later today. We’re at this hospital.” At which point you realize you better jump in if you want to get more than one word in. So you say something like, “Aw. Congrats. She sounds so cute. I can’t wait to meet her…” Has anyone else ever had this kind of conversation? The kind where the parents are so excited they couldn’t keep the details to themselves if they tried.

So naturally I was expecting all of the details when Mr. S, my husband, texted me that his brother called with news that his baby had been born,. But when I didn’t get another text with details I started texting questions back, “When, gender, name, size, … ?” Mr. S didn’t know any of it. So I called him to ask. He said his brother wouldn’t give him any details even though he asked. I thought they wanted to tell us in person. Nope. No invite to come visit them in the hospital. Weird.

Later that night I was dying of curiosity.  We still hadn’t heard anything so I check my sister-in-law’s blog, twitter, and facebook fanpage. Guess what?! There it was on twitter along with a photo of said baby. They had a baby girl. I have my first niece.

Then it hit me. I know we aren’t closest to them, but to not even be on the list of people who get a phone call with the stats or an invite kind of stings. This baby only has two uncles and two aunts. Mr. S and I have up two of those. But then again why am I surprised? When I think of it, I don’t think I have ever heard Sean’s brother or his wife refer to us as their first child’s aunt and uncle.

As much as I would like to say, “oh well, I don’t give a shit about them anyways.” I can’t because the truth is I do. I have to see these people at holidays and birthdays. These people are my family whether I like it or not. Sure I could fill a book with all of the negative things that they have done to  Mr. S and I, but it still hurt realizing that they don't consider us family.

It makes me wonder what kind of relationship my children will have with their cousins.

If I Die Young...

I'm crazy about this song. I love it. It's been stuck in my head for days.

Yeah it's sad, but some of the lyrics really speak to me. I lost one of my friends when I was 18. This song sounds like something she could've written. It reminds me how special everything she wrote is. And to save my tears for a time that I'm really going to need them.

If I Die Young
by The Band Perry

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

Home Birth

The other day I ran across an article about home birth.

I was really excited to see it because I am very interested in home birth if I am ever lucky enough to give birth. When I was younger, around 19, I was really into watching baby delivery shows on TV (bringing home baby, special delivery, birth day, ...). Thank you TLC and Discovery Health channels. I was thinking about switching to some kind of career in labor and delivery. I saw an episode where a woman gave birth to twin in her bathroom at home. It looked so much easier and peaceful than the hospital births. The woman was basically alone so she could listen to her body instead of a handful of medical professionals telling her what to do. The thing that attracted me most to the home birth was that she delivered the babies squatting. Squatting seems like a much better way to push out babies than laying on your back in a hospital bed. Since then I have watched the two Duggar grandchildren being born at home on TV. I'm sold!

Back to the article, I never thought about having a home birth to save money on medical bills or to avoid being scared into a C-section. The safety stats at the end of the article we pretty encouraging.

Of course I would have to do more research and give birth in a hospital if I had complications during pregnancy, but I really want to plan for a home birth. Assuming I can get pregnant that is. So in the next five years I want to watch the movie "The Business of Being Born," and read some books, blogs, or TV series about home birth. I have plenty of time though, but it is definitely something I want to learn a lot about before I actually get pregnant so I can focus on planning for the baby not the delivery while I'm pregnant.

What do you think about home birth? Have you had a home birth? Do you know anyone who has? Have you found any good resources on home birth?

Expensive Lesson Learned

Have good insurance and know your policy and options. And plan ahead instead of waiting until problems pop up.

About a week ago I had my four wisdom teeth ripped out of my head. I was so nervous, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be physically. On the other hand, my wallet is still recovering. It cost a few dollars short of $2K. That's more than my engagement and wedding ring combined, the same as my first car, and a months worth of paychecks. It turns out I have an $800 maximum dental benefits. That means my insurance will only pay out a maximum of $800 a year in dental claims. Even with the $800 max my insurance only covered $200 of the wisdom tooth extraction. Normally I wold be really upset about that, but I also got cavities filled and had xrays, a cleaning, and exam. So I will hopefully be getting all of the $800 in the end from the insurance company. Unfortunately, that still leaves my with $2.2K worth of work to pay for out of pocket.

Had I planned this out better I would have switched to my husbands insurance. He has a $2,000 maximum dental benefits. Then I would only be looking at $1K out of pocket expenses or possibly less if medical had covered some.

So during open enrollment I will be dropping health and dental insurance though my employer and having my husband add me to his plan though his employer.

Progress!

Today I got together with my future step sister to talk about things that had happened. She had posted for all of her family to see that my sister, my mom, and me being "b!tches" that were making her life miserable. My mom has been with her dad for 15 months and we really haven't had any real contact with her. We've tried but she just shoots us down. Anyways, I replied asking how we were making her life miserable. She replied with some very over the top things so I gave her a piece of my mind. Maybe not my finest moment, but these things needed to be said. So replied with some ever more over the top things. I emailed them to her dad. He emailed me back then deleted the emails. Then I emailed him back. Future step sister read the email. So I think she mostly wanted to meet up so she could set the record straight. She did apologize though which was nice.

Age

They, whoever that is, say age is just a number right?

So the age I choose to have children shouldn't matter right? Wrong. I guess. Apparently when your a women talking about babies age is a really big deal. It is much more than a number. It is something that determines whether people think you should have a baby or not.

This is the main reason my baby plan is a secret. Its a way to avoid other people bringing me down. Whenever you tell someone you want to wait until you are 32 to start trying to have a child they look at you like you have four heads then they start rattling off all of these kill-your-buzz type of "facts." You know what I'm talking about. "Women's fertility drops drastically after 30 years of age so you probably won't be able to get pregnant if you wait that long. All of your kids will probably have things like down syndrome. Your kids will probably be artistic. Women only have a limited number of eggs and when there gone there gone and if you wait too long only the bad ones will be left." Oh Thanks. I didn't know all of that stuff I will definitely go home and start trying to make a baby. NOT. The other people just give you a "better" age like 28.

I know everyone means well and just wants to help, but that isn't really the way to help. It is hard to get into the whole plan with everyone. But since this is my secret blog where I plan on over-sharing like it's going out of style I will get into it here. I am 25. I do not want kids now. I was a nanny. I know how hard it is to take care of kids and try to stay on top of the house cleaning at the same time. My friends have kids. I borrow them. Yes, you read that right. I babysit and play with them when I visit my friends. It is plenty kids for right now. I like to sleep in, go to the casino and bar every once in a while, drink occasionally, eat junk food, watch vulgar TV and movies, wear a bikini, stay in bed all day if I feel like it, etc. I'm not ready to give all of that up and have to be responsible for another human being. I'm not even doing that good of a job taking care of myself.

So since I don't want kids now, but I think I want them in the future, why not plan for it? I know that nothing really goes according to plan, but I also remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I'm planning. I was planning on starting to trying when I'm 32 and have a baby when I'm 33, but lately I've been thinking about trying when 30 since it might take over a year to conceive. Plus that way if I try to get pregnant for two years with no luck I can start the adoption process when I'm 32.

On the other hand, what if I don't even want kids when I'm 30? Five years will fly by! What if I'm still my lazy self who doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else? More reasons not to rush into having kids. I don't want to resent them because I wasn't ready for them or I really didn't want my lifestyle to change. I don't want to make my kids feel miserable like my mom made me feel every time she reminded me I was an accident and came much too early in her life.

So back to the age issue... When I Google the issue I don't really find anything that makes me think I won't be able to have a baby in my early 30s. It seems like over 35 is when things start getting harder. That's another reason I feel like I should start trying when I am 30 instead of 32 since I want two kids with two years between them.

This post got so long and ramble-y so I will cut it off here.

Do you have anything to add about age?

Baby Bucket List

Tonight I've been poking around on the web looking at other blogger's cradle lists. I've learned that many of them call them "baby bucket lists" or "pre-baby bucket lists." Good to know! I've noticed a lot of them have something about learning yoga... hmmm...

Here are links to some of the lists I've been looking at tonight:
Carlie's Baby Bucket List   (I like her writing style, which I lack)
Newlyweds Next Door Baby Bucket List (I like the percent complete at the bottom, that it is broken down into categories, and the disclaimer)
Baby Making Machine's Baby Bucket List (I like how this one is broken down into categories too)
Karen from Oy!Chicago's Cradle List (Buying a bigger bed is a really good one!)

I haven't looked at cradle list's on forums yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Have you found any cradle lists that you really like? Or would you share a link to your cradle list?

Shhh... This is a Secret

Welcome to the cradle list blog!

Confession time. I have always told everyone that I never want kids. It just seems easier to do that. Plus, I don't want to have kids for at least five more years. At this age that is forever from now! So to me that makes it ok to say never. I know, I know, never say never...

So the baby plan is a big fat secret. I don't want to feel pressured by anyone. I don't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't wait so long to have kids. I am someone who believes in adoption so if I can't get pregnant I will adopt. I don't want to have kids too young. I don't want to fight with my spouse in front of my (future) children all of the time. I don't want to look back and regret not doing things before I had kids. I don't want a child to be a financial burden.

I want to wait until I am at least thirty years old so that I will have financial stability, stable relationships, a strong sense of self, and patience. So since I have all of this time I want to have fun and be really prepared for when the time to have kids finally comes.

Do you have a cradle list? Do you have a TTC date? Did you do a lot of planning before having kids?