I'm crazy about this song. I love it. It's been stuck in my head for days.
Yeah it's sad, but some of the lyrics really speak to me. I lost one of my friends when I was 18. This song sounds like something she could've written. It reminds me how special everything she wrote is. And to save my tears for a time that I'm really going to need them.
If I Die Young
by The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Home Birth
The other day I ran across an article about home birth.
I was really excited to see it because I am very interested in home birth if I am ever lucky enough to give birth. When I was younger, around 19, I was really into watching baby delivery shows on TV (bringing home baby, special delivery, birth day, ...). Thank you TLC and Discovery Health channels. I was thinking about switching to some kind of career in labor and delivery. I saw an episode where a woman gave birth to twin in her bathroom at home. It looked so much easier and peaceful than the hospital births. The woman was basically alone so she could listen to her body instead of a handful of medical professionals telling her what to do. The thing that attracted me most to the home birth was that she delivered the babies squatting. Squatting seems like a much better way to push out babies than laying on your back in a hospital bed. Since then I have watched the two Duggar grandchildren being born at home on TV. I'm sold!
Back to the article, I never thought about having a home birth to save money on medical bills or to avoid being scared into a C-section. The safety stats at the end of the article we pretty encouraging.
Of course I would have to do more research and give birth in a hospital if I had complications during pregnancy, but I really want to plan for a home birth. Assuming I can get pregnant that is. So in the next five years I want to watch the movie "The Business of Being Born," and read some books, blogs, or TV series about home birth. I have plenty of time though, but it is definitely something I want to learn a lot about before I actually get pregnant so I can focus on planning for the baby not the delivery while I'm pregnant.
What do you think about home birth? Have you had a home birth? Do you know anyone who has? Have you found any good resources on home birth?
I was really excited to see it because I am very interested in home birth if I am ever lucky enough to give birth. When I was younger, around 19, I was really into watching baby delivery shows on TV (bringing home baby, special delivery, birth day, ...). Thank you TLC and Discovery Health channels. I was thinking about switching to some kind of career in labor and delivery. I saw an episode where a woman gave birth to twin in her bathroom at home. It looked so much easier and peaceful than the hospital births. The woman was basically alone so she could listen to her body instead of a handful of medical professionals telling her what to do. The thing that attracted me most to the home birth was that she delivered the babies squatting. Squatting seems like a much better way to push out babies than laying on your back in a hospital bed. Since then I have watched the two Duggar grandchildren being born at home on TV. I'm sold!
Back to the article, I never thought about having a home birth to save money on medical bills or to avoid being scared into a C-section. The safety stats at the end of the article we pretty encouraging.
Of course I would have to do more research and give birth in a hospital if I had complications during pregnancy, but I really want to plan for a home birth. Assuming I can get pregnant that is. So in the next five years I want to watch the movie "The Business of Being Born," and read some books, blogs, or TV series about home birth. I have plenty of time though, but it is definitely something I want to learn a lot about before I actually get pregnant so I can focus on planning for the baby not the delivery while I'm pregnant.
What do you think about home birth? Have you had a home birth? Do you know anyone who has? Have you found any good resources on home birth?
Expensive Lesson Learned
Have good insurance and know your policy and options. And plan ahead instead of waiting until problems pop up.
About a week ago I had my four wisdom teeth ripped out of my head. I was so nervous, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be physically. On the other hand, my wallet is still recovering. It cost a few dollars short of $2K. That's more than my engagement and wedding ring combined, the same as my first car, and a months worth of paychecks. It turns out I have an $800 maximum dental benefits. That means my insurance will only pay out a maximum of $800 a year in dental claims. Even with the $800 max my insurance only covered $200 of the wisdom tooth extraction. Normally I wold be really upset about that, but I also got cavities filled and had xrays, a cleaning, and exam. So I will hopefully be getting all of the $800 in the end from the insurance company. Unfortunately, that still leaves my with $2.2K worth of work to pay for out of pocket.
Had I planned this out better I would have switched to my husbands insurance. He has a $2,000 maximum dental benefits. Then I would only be looking at $1K out of pocket expenses or possibly less if medical had covered some.
So during open enrollment I will be dropping health and dental insurance though my employer and having my husband add me to his plan though his employer.
About a week ago I had my four wisdom teeth ripped out of my head. I was so nervous, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be physically. On the other hand, my wallet is still recovering. It cost a few dollars short of $2K. That's more than my engagement and wedding ring combined, the same as my first car, and a months worth of paychecks. It turns out I have an $800 maximum dental benefits. That means my insurance will only pay out a maximum of $800 a year in dental claims. Even with the $800 max my insurance only covered $200 of the wisdom tooth extraction. Normally I wold be really upset about that, but I also got cavities filled and had xrays, a cleaning, and exam. So I will hopefully be getting all of the $800 in the end from the insurance company. Unfortunately, that still leaves my with $2.2K worth of work to pay for out of pocket.
Had I planned this out better I would have switched to my husbands insurance. He has a $2,000 maximum dental benefits. Then I would only be looking at $1K out of pocket expenses or possibly less if medical had covered some.
So during open enrollment I will be dropping health and dental insurance though my employer and having my husband add me to his plan though his employer.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Progress!
Today I got together with my future step sister to talk about things that had happened. She had posted for all of her family to see that my sister, my mom, and me being "b!tches" that were making her life miserable. My mom has been with her dad for 15 months and we really haven't had any real contact with her. We've tried but she just shoots us down. Anyways, I replied asking how we were making her life miserable. She replied with some very over the top things so I gave her a piece of my mind. Maybe not my finest moment, but these things needed to be said. So replied with some ever more over the top things. I emailed them to her dad. He emailed me back then deleted the emails. Then I emailed him back. Future step sister read the email. So I think she mostly wanted to meet up so she could set the record straight. She did apologize though which was nice.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Age
They, whoever that is, say age is just a number right?
So the age I choose to have children shouldn't matter right? Wrong. I guess. Apparently when your a women talking about babies age is a really big deal. It is much more than a number. It is something that determines whether people think you should have a baby or not.
This is the main reason my baby plan is a secret. Its a way to avoid other people bringing me down. Whenever you tell someone you want to wait until you are 32 to start trying to have a child they look at you like you have four heads then they start rattling off all of these kill-your-buzz type of "facts." You know what I'm talking about. "Women's fertility drops drastically after 30 years of age so you probably won't be able to get pregnant if you wait that long. All of your kids will probably have things like down syndrome. Your kids will probably be artistic. Women only have a limited number of eggs and when there gone there gone and if you wait too long only the bad ones will be left." Oh Thanks. I didn't know all of that stuff I will definitely go home and start trying to make a baby. NOT. The other people just give you a "better" age like 28.
I know everyone means well and just wants to help, but that isn't really the way to help. It is hard to get into the whole plan with everyone. But since this is my secret blog where I plan on over-sharing like it's going out of style I will get into it here. I am 25. I do not want kids now. I was a nanny. I know how hard it is to take care of kids and try to stay on top of the house cleaning at the same time. My friends have kids. I borrow them. Yes, you read that right. I babysit and play with them when I visit my friends. It is plenty kids for right now. I like to sleep in, go to the casino and bar every once in a while, drink occasionally, eat junk food, watch vulgar TV and movies, wear a bikini, stay in bed all day if I feel like it, etc. I'm not ready to give all of that up and have to be responsible for another human being. I'm not even doing that good of a job taking care of myself.
So since I don't want kids now, but I think I want them in the future, why not plan for it? I know that nothing really goes according to plan, but I also remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I'm planning. I was planning on starting to trying when I'm 32 and have a baby when I'm 33, but lately I've been thinking about trying when 30 since it might take over a year to conceive. Plus that way if I try to get pregnant for two years with no luck I can start the adoption process when I'm 32.
On the other hand, what if I don't even want kids when I'm 30? Five years will fly by! What if I'm still my lazy self who doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else? More reasons not to rush into having kids. I don't want to resent them because I wasn't ready for them or I really didn't want my lifestyle to change. I don't want to make my kids feel miserable like my mom made me feel every time she reminded me I was an accident and came much too early in her life.
So back to the age issue... When I Google the issue I don't really find anything that makes me think I won't be able to have a baby in my early 30s. It seems like over 35 is when things start getting harder. That's another reason I feel like I should start trying when I am 30 instead of 32 since I want two kids with two years between them.
This post got so long and ramble-y so I will cut it off here.
Do you have anything to add about age?
So the age I choose to have children shouldn't matter right? Wrong. I guess. Apparently when your a women talking about babies age is a really big deal. It is much more than a number. It is something that determines whether people think you should have a baby or not.
This is the main reason my baby plan is a secret. Its a way to avoid other people bringing me down. Whenever you tell someone you want to wait until you are 32 to start trying to have a child they look at you like you have four heads then they start rattling off all of these kill-your-buzz type of "facts." You know what I'm talking about. "Women's fertility drops drastically after 30 years of age so you probably won't be able to get pregnant if you wait that long. All of your kids will probably have things like down syndrome. Your kids will probably be artistic. Women only have a limited number of eggs and when there gone there gone and if you wait too long only the bad ones will be left." Oh Thanks. I didn't know all of that stuff I will definitely go home and start trying to make a baby. NOT. The other people just give you a "better" age like 28.
I know everyone means well and just wants to help, but that isn't really the way to help. It is hard to get into the whole plan with everyone. But since this is my secret blog where I plan on over-sharing like it's going out of style I will get into it here. I am 25. I do not want kids now. I was a nanny. I know how hard it is to take care of kids and try to stay on top of the house cleaning at the same time. My friends have kids. I borrow them. Yes, you read that right. I babysit and play with them when I visit my friends. It is plenty kids for right now. I like to sleep in, go to the casino and bar every once in a while, drink occasionally, eat junk food, watch vulgar TV and movies, wear a bikini, stay in bed all day if I feel like it, etc. I'm not ready to give all of that up and have to be responsible for another human being. I'm not even doing that good of a job taking care of myself.
So since I don't want kids now, but I think I want them in the future, why not plan for it? I know that nothing really goes according to plan, but I also remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I'm planning. I was planning on starting to trying when I'm 32 and have a baby when I'm 33, but lately I've been thinking about trying when 30 since it might take over a year to conceive. Plus that way if I try to get pregnant for two years with no luck I can start the adoption process when I'm 32.
On the other hand, what if I don't even want kids when I'm 30? Five years will fly by! What if I'm still my lazy self who doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else? More reasons not to rush into having kids. I don't want to resent them because I wasn't ready for them or I really didn't want my lifestyle to change. I don't want to make my kids feel miserable like my mom made me feel every time she reminded me I was an accident and came much too early in her life.
So back to the age issue... When I Google the issue I don't really find anything that makes me think I won't be able to have a baby in my early 30s. It seems like over 35 is when things start getting harder. That's another reason I feel like I should start trying when I am 30 instead of 32 since I want two kids with two years between them.
This post got so long and ramble-y so I will cut it off here.
Do you have anything to add about age?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Baby Bucket List
Tonight I've been poking around on the web looking at other blogger's cradle lists. I've learned that many of them call them "baby bucket lists" or "pre-baby bucket lists." Good to know! I've noticed a lot of them have something about learning yoga... hmmm...
Here are links to some of the lists I've been looking at tonight:
Carlie's Baby Bucket List (I like her writing style, which I lack)
Newlyweds Next Door Baby Bucket List (I like the percent complete at the bottom, that it is broken down into categories, and the disclaimer)
Baby Making Machine's Baby Bucket List (I like how this one is broken down into categories too)
Karen from Oy!Chicago's Cradle List (Buying a bigger bed is a really good one!)
I haven't looked at cradle list's on forums yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
Have you found any cradle lists that you really like? Or would you share a link to your cradle list?
Here are links to some of the lists I've been looking at tonight:
Carlie's Baby Bucket List (I like her writing style, which I lack)
Newlyweds Next Door Baby Bucket List (I like the percent complete at the bottom, that it is broken down into categories, and the disclaimer)
Baby Making Machine's Baby Bucket List (I like how this one is broken down into categories too)
Karen from Oy!Chicago's Cradle List (Buying a bigger bed is a really good one!)
I haven't looked at cradle list's on forums yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
Have you found any cradle lists that you really like? Or would you share a link to your cradle list?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Shhh... This is a Secret
Welcome to the cradle list blog!
Confession time. I have always told everyone that I never want kids. It just seems easier to do that. Plus, I don't want to have kids for at least five more years. At this age that is forever from now! So to me that makes it ok to say never. I know, I know, never say never...
So the baby plan is a big fat secret. I don't want to feel pressured by anyone. I don't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't wait so long to have kids. I am someone who believes in adoption so if I can't get pregnant I will adopt. I don't want to have kids too young. I don't want to fight with my spouse in front of my (future) children all of the time. I don't want to look back and regret not doing things before I had kids. I don't want a child to be a financial burden.
I want to wait until I am at least thirty years old so that I will have financial stability, stable relationships, a strong sense of self, and patience. So since I have all of this time I want to have fun and be really prepared for when the time to have kids finally comes.
Do you have a cradle list? Do you have a TTC date? Did you do a lot of planning before having kids?
Confession time. I have always told everyone that I never want kids. It just seems easier to do that. Plus, I don't want to have kids for at least five more years. At this age that is forever from now! So to me that makes it ok to say never. I know, I know, never say never...
So the baby plan is a big fat secret. I don't want to feel pressured by anyone. I don't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't wait so long to have kids. I am someone who believes in adoption so if I can't get pregnant I will adopt. I don't want to have kids too young. I don't want to fight with my spouse in front of my (future) children all of the time. I don't want to look back and regret not doing things before I had kids. I don't want a child to be a financial burden.
I want to wait until I am at least thirty years old so that I will have financial stability, stable relationships, a strong sense of self, and patience. So since I have all of this time I want to have fun and be really prepared for when the time to have kids finally comes.
Do you have a cradle list? Do you have a TTC date? Did you do a lot of planning before having kids?
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