Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Progress!
Today I got together with my future step sister to talk about things that had happened. She had posted for all of her family to see that my sister, my mom, and me being "b!tches" that were making her life miserable. My mom has been with her dad for 15 months and we really haven't had any real contact with her. We've tried but she just shoots us down. Anyways, I replied asking how we were making her life miserable. She replied with some very over the top things so I gave her a piece of my mind. Maybe not my finest moment, but these things needed to be said. So replied with some ever more over the top things. I emailed them to her dad. He emailed me back then deleted the emails. Then I emailed him back. Future step sister read the email. So I think she mostly wanted to meet up so she could set the record straight. She did apologize though which was nice.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Age
They, whoever that is, say age is just a number right?
So the age I choose to have children shouldn't matter right? Wrong. I guess. Apparently when your a women talking about babies age is a really big deal. It is much more than a number. It is something that determines whether people think you should have a baby or not.
This is the main reason my baby plan is a secret. Its a way to avoid other people bringing me down. Whenever you tell someone you want to wait until you are 32 to start trying to have a child they look at you like you have four heads then they start rattling off all of these kill-your-buzz type of "facts." You know what I'm talking about. "Women's fertility drops drastically after 30 years of age so you probably won't be able to get pregnant if you wait that long. All of your kids will probably have things like down syndrome. Your kids will probably be artistic. Women only have a limited number of eggs and when there gone there gone and if you wait too long only the bad ones will be left." Oh Thanks. I didn't know all of that stuff I will definitely go home and start trying to make a baby. NOT. The other people just give you a "better" age like 28.
I know everyone means well and just wants to help, but that isn't really the way to help. It is hard to get into the whole plan with everyone. But since this is my secret blog where I plan on over-sharing like it's going out of style I will get into it here. I am 25. I do not want kids now. I was a nanny. I know how hard it is to take care of kids and try to stay on top of the house cleaning at the same time. My friends have kids. I borrow them. Yes, you read that right. I babysit and play with them when I visit my friends. It is plenty kids for right now. I like to sleep in, go to the casino and bar every once in a while, drink occasionally, eat junk food, watch vulgar TV and movies, wear a bikini, stay in bed all day if I feel like it, etc. I'm not ready to give all of that up and have to be responsible for another human being. I'm not even doing that good of a job taking care of myself.
So since I don't want kids now, but I think I want them in the future, why not plan for it? I know that nothing really goes according to plan, but I also remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I'm planning. I was planning on starting to trying when I'm 32 and have a baby when I'm 33, but lately I've been thinking about trying when 30 since it might take over a year to conceive. Plus that way if I try to get pregnant for two years with no luck I can start the adoption process when I'm 32.
On the other hand, what if I don't even want kids when I'm 30? Five years will fly by! What if I'm still my lazy self who doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else? More reasons not to rush into having kids. I don't want to resent them because I wasn't ready for them or I really didn't want my lifestyle to change. I don't want to make my kids feel miserable like my mom made me feel every time she reminded me I was an accident and came much too early in her life.
So back to the age issue... When I Google the issue I don't really find anything that makes me think I won't be able to have a baby in my early 30s. It seems like over 35 is when things start getting harder. That's another reason I feel like I should start trying when I am 30 instead of 32 since I want two kids with two years between them.
This post got so long and ramble-y so I will cut it off here.
Do you have anything to add about age?
So the age I choose to have children shouldn't matter right? Wrong. I guess. Apparently when your a women talking about babies age is a really big deal. It is much more than a number. It is something that determines whether people think you should have a baby or not.
This is the main reason my baby plan is a secret. Its a way to avoid other people bringing me down. Whenever you tell someone you want to wait until you are 32 to start trying to have a child they look at you like you have four heads then they start rattling off all of these kill-your-buzz type of "facts." You know what I'm talking about. "Women's fertility drops drastically after 30 years of age so you probably won't be able to get pregnant if you wait that long. All of your kids will probably have things like down syndrome. Your kids will probably be artistic. Women only have a limited number of eggs and when there gone there gone and if you wait too long only the bad ones will be left." Oh Thanks. I didn't know all of that stuff I will definitely go home and start trying to make a baby. NOT. The other people just give you a "better" age like 28.
I know everyone means well and just wants to help, but that isn't really the way to help. It is hard to get into the whole plan with everyone. But since this is my secret blog where I plan on over-sharing like it's going out of style I will get into it here. I am 25. I do not want kids now. I was a nanny. I know how hard it is to take care of kids and try to stay on top of the house cleaning at the same time. My friends have kids. I borrow them. Yes, you read that right. I babysit and play with them when I visit my friends. It is plenty kids for right now. I like to sleep in, go to the casino and bar every once in a while, drink occasionally, eat junk food, watch vulgar TV and movies, wear a bikini, stay in bed all day if I feel like it, etc. I'm not ready to give all of that up and have to be responsible for another human being. I'm not even doing that good of a job taking care of myself.
So since I don't want kids now, but I think I want them in the future, why not plan for it? I know that nothing really goes according to plan, but I also remember that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. So I'm planning. I was planning on starting to trying when I'm 32 and have a baby when I'm 33, but lately I've been thinking about trying when 30 since it might take over a year to conceive. Plus that way if I try to get pregnant for two years with no luck I can start the adoption process when I'm 32.
On the other hand, what if I don't even want kids when I'm 30? Five years will fly by! What if I'm still my lazy self who doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else? More reasons not to rush into having kids. I don't want to resent them because I wasn't ready for them or I really didn't want my lifestyle to change. I don't want to make my kids feel miserable like my mom made me feel every time she reminded me I was an accident and came much too early in her life.
So back to the age issue... When I Google the issue I don't really find anything that makes me think I won't be able to have a baby in my early 30s. It seems like over 35 is when things start getting harder. That's another reason I feel like I should start trying when I am 30 instead of 32 since I want two kids with two years between them.
This post got so long and ramble-y so I will cut it off here.
Do you have anything to add about age?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Baby Bucket List
Tonight I've been poking around on the web looking at other blogger's cradle lists. I've learned that many of them call them "baby bucket lists" or "pre-baby bucket lists." Good to know! I've noticed a lot of them have something about learning yoga... hmmm...
Here are links to some of the lists I've been looking at tonight:
Carlie's Baby Bucket List (I like her writing style, which I lack)
Newlyweds Next Door Baby Bucket List (I like the percent complete at the bottom, that it is broken down into categories, and the disclaimer)
Baby Making Machine's Baby Bucket List (I like how this one is broken down into categories too)
Karen from Oy!Chicago's Cradle List (Buying a bigger bed is a really good one!)
I haven't looked at cradle list's on forums yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
Have you found any cradle lists that you really like? Or would you share a link to your cradle list?
Here are links to some of the lists I've been looking at tonight:
Carlie's Baby Bucket List (I like her writing style, which I lack)
Newlyweds Next Door Baby Bucket List (I like the percent complete at the bottom, that it is broken down into categories, and the disclaimer)
Baby Making Machine's Baby Bucket List (I like how this one is broken down into categories too)
Karen from Oy!Chicago's Cradle List (Buying a bigger bed is a really good one!)
I haven't looked at cradle list's on forums yet, but I'm looking forward to it.
Have you found any cradle lists that you really like? Or would you share a link to your cradle list?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Shhh... This is a Secret
Welcome to the cradle list blog!
Confession time. I have always told everyone that I never want kids. It just seems easier to do that. Plus, I don't want to have kids for at least five more years. At this age that is forever from now! So to me that makes it ok to say never. I know, I know, never say never...
So the baby plan is a big fat secret. I don't want to feel pressured by anyone. I don't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't wait so long to have kids. I am someone who believes in adoption so if I can't get pregnant I will adopt. I don't want to have kids too young. I don't want to fight with my spouse in front of my (future) children all of the time. I don't want to look back and regret not doing things before I had kids. I don't want a child to be a financial burden.
I want to wait until I am at least thirty years old so that I will have financial stability, stable relationships, a strong sense of self, and patience. So since I have all of this time I want to have fun and be really prepared for when the time to have kids finally comes.
Do you have a cradle list? Do you have a TTC date? Did you do a lot of planning before having kids?
Confession time. I have always told everyone that I never want kids. It just seems easier to do that. Plus, I don't want to have kids for at least five more years. At this age that is forever from now! So to me that makes it ok to say never. I know, I know, never say never...
So the baby plan is a big fat secret. I don't want to feel pressured by anyone. I don't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't wait so long to have kids. I am someone who believes in adoption so if I can't get pregnant I will adopt. I don't want to have kids too young. I don't want to fight with my spouse in front of my (future) children all of the time. I don't want to look back and regret not doing things before I had kids. I don't want a child to be a financial burden.
I want to wait until I am at least thirty years old so that I will have financial stability, stable relationships, a strong sense of self, and patience. So since I have all of this time I want to have fun and be really prepared for when the time to have kids finally comes.
Do you have a cradle list? Do you have a TTC date? Did you do a lot of planning before having kids?
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